Like, WHO ARE YOU TO FLIRT WITH ME THEN TELL ME IT'S JUST YOU HORSING AROUND WITH A FRIEND?
I'm pretty sure friendly flirting doesn't cover sending me a NAKED PICTURE of yourself. If it was a booty call, cool. I get it. YOU'RE not going to get anything, but I appreciate the effort. If it was you trying to boost your ego, JUST SAY SO. I'm fine with boosting your self image, because you're fucking hot and you should accept that about yourself. But DO NOT tell me it's friends flirting with friends. Because that's definitely not something you do with your "friend," let alone a "friend" you haven't spent more than a few hours with.
And the worst part was, I'm not really into that. I've had phone sex exactly ONCE. And it was awful. Something about it made me feel gross, and I was uncomfortable in the shower for weeks after. That's okay, though. We all have things we like to do, and things that weird us out. I don't want to see the surprise inside before I've bought the candy, you know what I mean? I don't need pictures. I prefer to have it be a surprise, and see it all firsthand. Pictures make me uncomfortable, because then the guy wants to see one of me, and there's no polite way to say no. You want the goodies? You gotta work for them, sweetheart. I don't come cheap.
So I was drunk texting and my inhibitions were lowered. If I had been sober I would have realized what he planned to do and stopped him. It was like, we were flirting, and I was getting bolder with my compliments. Then BAM there's his penis right there on my phone and I don't fucking know what to do. And he says I MUST promise to keep it between us and not to lie about whether or not I think he's hot. First, what the hell am I supposed to think about this picture? I've never encountered this before, so of fucking course I'm going to ask someone about it. Maybe even two or three or four people. As many as it takes for me to figure out what I'm supposed to say to you when I wake up in the morning with the knowledge of what your dick looks like. Second, why would I lie to you about being hot? I've been sending out literally every signal I can think of to let you know I'm interested. Sounds like you just want me to build up your confidence. Trust me, I can do it way better when I'm not thinking about your dick. I'm much less awkward when nakedness isn't a factor. It's also more authentic, I think. That way it's not like I'm judging your physical appearance, but measuring you on your personality.
I guess asking him if he was just flirting to flirt wasn't the best thing to do. My brother told me it was the move of a crazy person, and he was going to run for the hills the minute I asked him. And he did say he just thought of me as a friend. My brothers told me he was probably looking for a booty call, and a few others said it was because he was interested. I asked him why he sent it, and he said he didn't know, and that he was sorry. Why the fuck are you sorry? You know damn well why you sent it. At this point it's pretty hard to worm your way out of it. You either sent it to read me on a hookup, boost your ego, or draw my interest in further. If you don't want sex, you're confident, and I'm just your friend, you have to be lying about something. You don't just send someone a dick pic, and if you do, I think you might have some issues you refuse to face.
Maybe I came on too strong and scared him, so he lied. Maybe he was too drunk to determine that it was a bad idea. At this point I'll accept just about anything. I just want to know WHY so I can figure out how to talk to you now. Because I'm obviously not going to flirt with you anymore. I don't flirt with friends. It confuses me too much, so now I have to restructure the parameters of our friendship and start over from scratch.
Man, I don't know anything right now. I'm angry as fuck at him, a little discouraged, and so, so confused about it all. I think he was really flirting, but I scared him off. And that's my b, but that's also how I am. I'm straight to the point, and if it's not going to go anywhere I need to know before I get too invested. I want to know that the ending will be worth it if I read all 900 pages of the book. If the last five pages suck, I just wasted all my time.
Anyway, I'm going to bed. And if you're reading this, don't fucking say anything. This is the risk you took when you sent me mixed signals. At least I didn't tell everyone your name and dick size. That would have been really embarrassing, huh?
Goodnight!
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