Guess what I'm doing?
I'm tutoring at my school. Well, I'm supposed to be tutoring at my school, but no one needs English tutoring ever, so I usually sit here and grade, read, watch a movie, listen to music, play games on my phone, etc.
Today I thought I would blog, primarily because I forgot my book and listening to the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack has left me perpetually sexually frustrated.
Last time, I left you with the ramblings of a single woman of Valentine's Day. Today, I will continue that rant.
The boy who is seeing someone after he told me he's not looking for a relationship has been a busy boy, apparently. It's a really long story that I do not care to write out, but just know that he was waffling between me and another person, and he chose the other person. Of course, he chose her and did not tell me. In fact, he ignored my texts, phone calls, and cancelled all our future hang out dates for a YEAR. A YEAR.
Now he's moved on to a new boo that he spent Valentine's Day with, largely because of the pregnancy scare he went through with the boo he threw me over for.
I'm just going to say it.
WITH ALL THE CONTRACEPTION OPTIONS AVAILABLE TO VIRTUALLY EVERY PERSON ON THIS PLANET, HOW DO YOU STILL GO THROUGH A PREGNANCY SCARE? THERE ARE CONDOMS FOR DAYS, BIRTH CONTROL OPTIONS, AND THE ALWAYS EFFECTIVE ABSTINENCE ANGLE. HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?
That being said, I know birth control can fail, and the condom can break, but even so...
So he dropped that hot potato and moved on. My understanding of it all was that neither of them thought a condom was a good idea. I'm willing to give credence to the idea that the girl might have lied about birth control, since I know she was planning on using pregnancy to ensnare her old boyfriend. Also, she called me a bitch and a home-wrecker (though I saw him first and we were talking before they were), so I don't place much value in her moral compass.
The POINT is: between me and her, she might have been the easier lay, but I'm the smarter lay. Just sayin'.
Well that was cathartic.
Also, I'm planning on confronting the bastard. HE started the sexy talk, HE wanted to get with this, and HE pushed me away at just the moment we were going to achieve sexual gratification together without telling me why or giving me any warning. So he's got some explaining to do. (I hate to admit it, but the fact that he didn't seal the deal left me feeling a little undesirable. He needs to explain it to me so I can start to feel sexy again.)
Welp, that's it for now.
Laters baby.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Valentine's Day
You know what sucks about Valentine's Day? Several things.
First, it's a completely commercialized holiday, which shares the date of the unfortunate St. Valentine's Day massacre. I mean, if you really love someone you should tell them that you love them all the time, not just one day a year. Stores capitalize on love in February, and they also prey on the week emotions of those who have not been lucky enough to find love yet.
Can you feel the bitter?
I personally thought I was hiding it well. It turns out that I am the only one in my family who is not having a good Valentine's Day. One of my brothers got to visit a town that he went to last summer for the weekend. He's having a lot of fun with his friends that he hasn't seen since the summer, and I am happy for him. My other brother got asked out on a date while he was on his job today. I had planned to go to the movies with him because I don't want people to stare at me when I walk into the movies without a date on Valentine's Day. But he got lucky, and I got to go to the movies by myself, which I am excelling at.
There's a little bit of time between the first movie I watched and the second movie I'm going to watch, so I'm currently sitting in my car like a creeper, and people keep looking at me typing into my phone because it seems that I have nothing better to do tonight than complain about my loveless life to you, my dear readers.
The biggest reason why today sucks is because it seems that someone who said he wasn't looking for relationship has found himself in one. I really wish people would stop lying to me about what they want from me. I knew he just wanted to fuck me in my head, but having it confirmed for me today via a Facebook post he was tagged in really sucks for some reason.
I know this is turning into the typical single person post on Valentine's Day, but I can't talk about it with anybody else but you, because my brothers told me this was going to happen. They told me that he was going to try to use me for one purpose only, but I did not believe them. Lo and behold, he found himself someone else. But this time, he didn't just want to fuck her and be friends. She's actually moved in with him and they're dating.
I feel like that's really fast, considering the fact that probably two weeks before he started dating her, he was telling me about all the different ways he wanted to bend me over and have his way with me, but still be friends. He talked about exploring my sexuality with me like it was some big journey that he was proud to go on with me. But when it came down to the wire, it turns out he was just looking for an easy lay. And I hate that he almost got me.
It's stupid that this hurts, right? I mean I should expect it by now, because every person that's ever been attracted to me thinks that I'm easy because I'm fat and not as pretty as everybody else. I guess I am a little bit bigger than most people. Okay, a lot of people. But that doesn't mean that I'm any less of a person than any other girl who exists in the world today. I think I'm beautiful, and that I just need someone to recognize how beautiful I am. It's hard to keep that mentality, however, when every single guy who has shown interest in you is only interested in you as long as you're willing to have sex with them immediately. Where are my hearts and flowers? I deserve to be wooed, and it seems to me that I can't find anybody who is willing to take on the job. I've only dated one person in my life, and that lasted for two months. At the end of that relationship, my ex-boyfriend told me that he only dated me because he has a thing for fat chicks. And that's it. That's the only guy I've ever dated. It's hard to believe after a while that you're not the problem. I don't know what kind of vibe I give out, but I guess it's not the one that I want to, because all I see in my future is a line of jackasses waiting to see if they'll be the one to conquer the fat chick.
Maybe I won't be as bitter tomorrow. Tonight, however, I'm glad I'm going to see a movie that has explosions and at least one guaranteed male death.
Happy Valentine's Day, readers. I hope your day was better than mine.
First, it's a completely commercialized holiday, which shares the date of the unfortunate St. Valentine's Day massacre. I mean, if you really love someone you should tell them that you love them all the time, not just one day a year. Stores capitalize on love in February, and they also prey on the week emotions of those who have not been lucky enough to find love yet.
Can you feel the bitter?
I personally thought I was hiding it well. It turns out that I am the only one in my family who is not having a good Valentine's Day. One of my brothers got to visit a town that he went to last summer for the weekend. He's having a lot of fun with his friends that he hasn't seen since the summer, and I am happy for him. My other brother got asked out on a date while he was on his job today. I had planned to go to the movies with him because I don't want people to stare at me when I walk into the movies without a date on Valentine's Day. But he got lucky, and I got to go to the movies by myself, which I am excelling at.
There's a little bit of time between the first movie I watched and the second movie I'm going to watch, so I'm currently sitting in my car like a creeper, and people keep looking at me typing into my phone because it seems that I have nothing better to do tonight than complain about my loveless life to you, my dear readers.
The biggest reason why today sucks is because it seems that someone who said he wasn't looking for relationship has found himself in one. I really wish people would stop lying to me about what they want from me. I knew he just wanted to fuck me in my head, but having it confirmed for me today via a Facebook post he was tagged in really sucks for some reason.
I know this is turning into the typical single person post on Valentine's Day, but I can't talk about it with anybody else but you, because my brothers told me this was going to happen. They told me that he was going to try to use me for one purpose only, but I did not believe them. Lo and behold, he found himself someone else. But this time, he didn't just want to fuck her and be friends. She's actually moved in with him and they're dating.
I feel like that's really fast, considering the fact that probably two weeks before he started dating her, he was telling me about all the different ways he wanted to bend me over and have his way with me, but still be friends. He talked about exploring my sexuality with me like it was some big journey that he was proud to go on with me. But when it came down to the wire, it turns out he was just looking for an easy lay. And I hate that he almost got me.
It's stupid that this hurts, right? I mean I should expect it by now, because every person that's ever been attracted to me thinks that I'm easy because I'm fat and not as pretty as everybody else. I guess I am a little bit bigger than most people. Okay, a lot of people. But that doesn't mean that I'm any less of a person than any other girl who exists in the world today. I think I'm beautiful, and that I just need someone to recognize how beautiful I am. It's hard to keep that mentality, however, when every single guy who has shown interest in you is only interested in you as long as you're willing to have sex with them immediately. Where are my hearts and flowers? I deserve to be wooed, and it seems to me that I can't find anybody who is willing to take on the job. I've only dated one person in my life, and that lasted for two months. At the end of that relationship, my ex-boyfriend told me that he only dated me because he has a thing for fat chicks. And that's it. That's the only guy I've ever dated. It's hard to believe after a while that you're not the problem. I don't know what kind of vibe I give out, but I guess it's not the one that I want to, because all I see in my future is a line of jackasses waiting to see if they'll be the one to conquer the fat chick.
Maybe I won't be as bitter tomorrow. Tonight, however, I'm glad I'm going to see a movie that has explosions and at least one guaranteed male death.
Happy Valentine's Day, readers. I hope your day was better than mine.
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