The great thing about having a blog to rant in is that when your brother is being a dickhead you can go to it and rant, and be positive that he won't look at it. But also know that if he does look at it, it's not your fault he reads what you wrote about him.
It's not even a real reason to be fighting. I got defensive because I didn't want to read Game of Thrones even though my friend recommended it, and he called me a hypocrite. I generally don't like being forced or pressured into reading a certain book. Reading is an escape for me and if I feel like I have to do it, it loses the magic for me a little bit. That being said, I do plan on reading Game of Thrones, but I'm not in the mood right now. So I put it away and I'll return to it when I feel like it. There.
But my brother doesn't get it, because let's be honest: my feelings about book recommendations are weird. I fully understand that, but it is what it is, and when someone attacks the way I handle things I get naturally defensive, as would most people. So I didn't like that he was judging me because I shared with him my feelings on book recommending. I thought he'd already figured it out, because he tried to get me to read The Fault In Our Stars and I waited for a full month before I picked it up. When I finally did read it, I found I loved it. It took me a month to read it, though, because he kept popping into my room when I was reading another book and making half-joking comments about how I had a perfectly good book to read that he was (im)patiently waiting for me to read. So I stopped myself from reading it out of spite for a few days. I'm not proud of it, but I really hate being pressured to read things. I'll get to it on my own time, on my own terms. Rushing me isn't going to help and could quite possibly impact what I think of the book in the end.
So I thought he would understand, but he called me a hypocrite because I push movies onto everyone. Which I feel is uncalled for. Books and movies are two different things in my mind. Movies don't have the same value to me as books do, so it's a completely different ball game. I'll take movie recommendations all damn day, and love every one of them in the end. I have really shitty taste in movies, in that I typically love all movies. So anyway, books are one thing and movies are another. Again, I am aware of the fact that this is weird, but it's the way I am and no amount of judgment is going to change that. So he called me a hypocrite because I pushed movies onto people and hated getting books pushed onto me. And I find that untrue. So I got pissed at him and quit talking to him, because really, once he decides he's right about something there's no backing him down off the ledge he's found himself on. Which is exactly how I react, so it's a barrel of fun when we basically have to deal with ourselves when we fight.
And he put a passive aggressive post on his Tumblr. So I'm blogging about it here. I'm not a hypocrite because I don't like having books pushed on me. I don't mind getting book recommendations, actually. I just hate it when people push and push and push me to read them. I get it. The book's really good and you want to share it. I'll read it, but you have to let me approach it my way. It might take a bit, but eventually I'll get to it, and I'll tell you all about it when I'm done. And I don't push movies on others too often. If I do, and they get annoyed, they tell me and I back off. So no, I don't see myself as a hypocrite, and my brother doesn't understand that. He just gets pissed off and decides he's right and treats me with contempt and I don't want to deal with it so I shut it down and remove myself from the situation. Which pisses him off like nothing else, because it creates tension. But it's how I calm myself down, and he can fucking deal. When he comes to talk to me after, the conversation can go really well or create more shit. If he comes in with this pretentious attitude and asks if we're done with the fight, I say yes and keep my answers short, because really. I remove myself to get away from your attitude and you bring it into my room under the pretense of seeking a truce. I won't react positively. So that will piss him off and he'll leave me alone. If he comes in and he doesn't have any attitude, I won't bristle and we'll get over it. Guess which one he chose tonight?
So we haven't resolved it, unfortunately. I hate going to bed upset, but I'm not going to talk to him about it anymore. He mocked my perceptions, and though I readily admit that I'm strange with books and movies, it's my fucking perception and if you don't like it you can fuck off, thank you very much. You don't have to understand or agree with what I think, but you don't get to judge me because of it.
Anyway, a short note about my love life. Found a potential someone. Unfortunately, he's in the armed services and won't be discharged for a while, so I'll have to content myself with the few weeks he has on leave to get to know him. But he's super nice and makes me smile and I like it.
That's it. Off to bed.
Night, loves.
