Or whatever. This might be number 3 or something. I'm so drunk. I've never been this drunk. Not even on my 21st birthday, and I was pretty drunk then. I'm not even sure how I'm doing this right now. I've had to go back at least three times to spell everything right. Make that four. I feel like I should spell long words now.
Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Embellishment.
Onomatopoeia (Spell check took care of this one.)
God, what even am I doing?
I'm so happy. And sad. Why can't I get a boy to like me? I just want to make out with a cute boy or four. Really live my twenties, you know?
I'm probably going to regret this in the morning, but I wish the Marine had fucked me. I wish he'd had it in him to go that extra mile and not fall short on his promises. That would have been nice, being wanted sexually and finally making that leap. But I guess it wasn't meant to be. Oh well. I'll find someone. Or at least that's what my brother/friends think.
I really think I'm too drunk to process all this right now. I'm going to bed before I embarrass myself more.
Love y'all!
**Addendum: I did, in fact, regret this in the morning. Let this stand as a reminder to me that blogging when drunk is a no-no.**
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Why Am I Such An Idiot?
If I complain and complain about something and insist that I'm not friends with these people anymore, but when I'm left out of plans I get my feelings hurt, and when I ask them about said plans and they lie to me I get my feelings hurt even more.
And then I get mad. That seems be my default mood recently. I do NOT have time to deal with this crap right now. I've got training for the next three weeks, a wedding to go to in July, and more training in August. It's going to be a very busy summer, and I don't want assholes who are fake to me to ruin it.
I wish they would be up front with me about it all. Being treated like a friend in public but excluded from all plans that don't involve my pool makes me feel worse than if they had just told me they didn't want to be friends anymore. And I don't think they're doing it maliciously, but I'm not important enough to them for them to invite me places. They'll invite my brother, sure. But me? Not so much.
I'm angry at myself for letting them upset me like this. I wasted my time angry at them, when I should have been swimming without them, taking tons of pictures and not giving a flying shit about anything they wanted to do today. Some backstory for you: These two fuckers wanted to come over and swim today, which my brother and I were down for. Then Roosevelt (my brother) mentioned in passing a party that the fuckers invited him to at the Marine's house. They did not invite me, I'm assuming at the Marine's request, and it upset me. When I asked one of the fuckers about said party, he lied right to my face. Well, my phone, cause we were texting. After I flipped out, I uninvited the fuckers, went to get ice cream, cleaned my room, and went swimming anyway. There was a healthy dose of crying in the mix because, you know, hurt feelings.
I'm sure they're all having fun at the party. I enjoyed my day of swimming, reading, and movies more than I probably would have hanging out with the fuckers and getting ready for a party I wouldn't really want to go to anyway. Beer and washers isn't my thing. I'm all curled up in my freshly laundered sheets, watching a favorite movie of mine. I know it's unrealistic, but why aren't more men like Edward Cullen? Aside from the vampire thing, of course. A guy who's completely devoted to you, loves you more than reason allows, and wants to protect you at any cost? Not a bad deal in my opinion.
I wouldn't be like Bella, but I'd like an Edward in my life. I'm afraid all the men in my life are turning into assholes. Time for some new faces.
I'm off to bed. I have a big day tomorrow, after all!
And then I get mad. That seems be my default mood recently. I do NOT have time to deal with this crap right now. I've got training for the next three weeks, a wedding to go to in July, and more training in August. It's going to be a very busy summer, and I don't want assholes who are fake to me to ruin it.
I wish they would be up front with me about it all. Being treated like a friend in public but excluded from all plans that don't involve my pool makes me feel worse than if they had just told me they didn't want to be friends anymore. And I don't think they're doing it maliciously, but I'm not important enough to them for them to invite me places. They'll invite my brother, sure. But me? Not so much.
I'm angry at myself for letting them upset me like this. I wasted my time angry at them, when I should have been swimming without them, taking tons of pictures and not giving a flying shit about anything they wanted to do today. Some backstory for you: These two fuckers wanted to come over and swim today, which my brother and I were down for. Then Roosevelt (my brother) mentioned in passing a party that the fuckers invited him to at the Marine's house. They did not invite me, I'm assuming at the Marine's request, and it upset me. When I asked one of the fuckers about said party, he lied right to my face. Well, my phone, cause we were texting. After I flipped out, I uninvited the fuckers, went to get ice cream, cleaned my room, and went swimming anyway. There was a healthy dose of crying in the mix because, you know, hurt feelings.
I'm sure they're all having fun at the party. I enjoyed my day of swimming, reading, and movies more than I probably would have hanging out with the fuckers and getting ready for a party I wouldn't really want to go to anyway. Beer and washers isn't my thing. I'm all curled up in my freshly laundered sheets, watching a favorite movie of mine. I know it's unrealistic, but why aren't more men like Edward Cullen? Aside from the vampire thing, of course. A guy who's completely devoted to you, loves you more than reason allows, and wants to protect you at any cost? Not a bad deal in my opinion.
I wouldn't be like Bella, but I'd like an Edward in my life. I'm afraid all the men in my life are turning into assholes. Time for some new faces.
I'm off to bed. I have a big day tomorrow, after all!
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Guess What I Got?
A JOB. A FULL-TIME JOB LIKE THE ADULT I AM DAMMIT!
That's been brewing for I don't know how long. Glad I got it off my chest.
Annnnywayyyy, how ARE my sweet, silent readers? Anything interesting happen while I was away? No? Nothing? I find that hard to believe. When y'all get over your fear of comments, tell me what's new in your lives. Love to hear it.
Next, I'm not sure at what point I left off in my horribly cliché story about me and the Marine, but I'll finish it out to the best of my ability. I'm sure you're dying to hear about it. Well, we tried that whole flirt on the phone thing, sending naughty things to one another, then he pumped the brakes and said it was because there was too much drama going on. Flash forward a few weeks to a month (can't remember, it feels so long ago), and we start it up for one steamy night of desperate pleas for dirty pictures on his end and hesitance/annoyance on my end. We just started talking again can you keep it in your pants for one night so we can have a normal conversation oh my GOD please stop sending me pictures of your dick seriously dude?
So the next day his Aunt passes away and he doesn't know when he'll be free because he's got to hang out with the family for a while. That same day he goes bowling with some girl, let's call her Jay. Surprisingly, he spends almost all week with this Jay person. He even documents it on Facebook so it pops up in my feed. How nice of him. They have cute dates at her house, and she goes to family parties with him. Lovely.
I seek advice from my brother Roosevelt, who is a fucker to girls he dates as well. Roo tells me that the Marine is a smooth operator, much like himself, so he's going to have four to five different girls. A phone girl, a date girl, a fuck buddy, a family functions girl, and an indefinite number of "other city" girls. Sometimes a girl can be more than one category. Sometimes a category can have more than one girl. (**I should state that this is all my brother's point of view and should not be taken as fact, but as opinion.**)
After reviewing the facts as I laid them out, Roo determines that I am the Marine's phone girl and an other city girl. He's perfectly content to talk to me on the phone and ask for pictures of my snooch, but that's as far as he wants it to go. No dates, no fun nights in the sack, none of that ish. Just texting, pictures, and the occasional phone call if it can't be avoided.
You all know me. You know that's not how I roll. I'm in it to win it, okay? And I hate being lied to. He's not busy with family stuff. He's off chasing another girl! Which, okay. I don't have dibs or anything, but he could at least be up front about it, you know?
"But Cathryn, that's not how these guys operate. It's all a big web of lies, misleading statements, and avoidance of the problem."
Well self, he just needs to get over that shit, cause I'm an adult and I want an adult partner, dammit!
So he told me he'd call when he was free, and I took him at his word. It's been a month now, and I haven't heard anything. He's been making all sorts of plans on Facebook, and there's a party at his place or one of his sisters' places every other week, it seems like. I guess it's not that big of a deal for him. He can always find another phone girl.
I'm really proud of myself for not cracking and contacting him. To be honest, I haven't thought of him too much this past month. I mean, yeah, I'm writing about it, but I haven't been sitting by my phone, waiting for him to text me. I've been out interviewing, working, GETTING A BIG GIRL JOB, and having fun with my brother Roosevelt and his BFF Darion, who is like another little brother for me. I usually break first and try again to make plans when someone blows me off, but not this time! Now that I have other things to worry about, this doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. So he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, who cares? I'm probably better off without him, and I'll find someone more my speed. Parties aren't really my scene anyway, and that's all the Marine seems to want to do.
On another note, my friend of 21 years is in Massachusetts for the summer for an internship. So proud of her, but missing the things we usually do in the summer, like get lunch and watch movies at the theater, our annual Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter marathons, and picking a show to watch together. That and drinking and playing Domino Train and Jenga and King's Cup and Smart Ass and Scattergories. My brother Dylan is also on an internship in a small town 6 hours away from home. Proud of him as well, but the same things also apply, since he's usually with us when we partake in the aforementioned activities. My friend pool went from 8 to maybe 3 to 5, depending on what day it is and who's working, so it's a big change.
Welp, I've got an absolute bitch of a headache, so I'm going to bed. I'll be on later, and sooner than the last time. It's been a busy year, friends.
Night all!
That's been brewing for I don't know how long. Glad I got it off my chest.
Annnnywayyyy, how ARE my sweet, silent readers? Anything interesting happen while I was away? No? Nothing? I find that hard to believe. When y'all get over your fear of comments, tell me what's new in your lives. Love to hear it.
Next, I'm not sure at what point I left off in my horribly cliché story about me and the Marine, but I'll finish it out to the best of my ability. I'm sure you're dying to hear about it. Well, we tried that whole flirt on the phone thing, sending naughty things to one another, then he pumped the brakes and said it was because there was too much drama going on. Flash forward a few weeks to a month (can't remember, it feels so long ago), and we start it up for one steamy night of desperate pleas for dirty pictures on his end and hesitance/annoyance on my end. We just started talking again can you keep it in your pants for one night so we can have a normal conversation oh my GOD please stop sending me pictures of your dick seriously dude?
So the next day his Aunt passes away and he doesn't know when he'll be free because he's got to hang out with the family for a while. That same day he goes bowling with some girl, let's call her Jay. Surprisingly, he spends almost all week with this Jay person. He even documents it on Facebook so it pops up in my feed. How nice of him. They have cute dates at her house, and she goes to family parties with him. Lovely.
I seek advice from my brother Roosevelt, who is a fucker to girls he dates as well. Roo tells me that the Marine is a smooth operator, much like himself, so he's going to have four to five different girls. A phone girl, a date girl, a fuck buddy, a family functions girl, and an indefinite number of "other city" girls. Sometimes a girl can be more than one category. Sometimes a category can have more than one girl. (**I should state that this is all my brother's point of view and should not be taken as fact, but as opinion.**)
After reviewing the facts as I laid them out, Roo determines that I am the Marine's phone girl and an other city girl. He's perfectly content to talk to me on the phone and ask for pictures of my snooch, but that's as far as he wants it to go. No dates, no fun nights in the sack, none of that ish. Just texting, pictures, and the occasional phone call if it can't be avoided.
You all know me. You know that's not how I roll. I'm in it to win it, okay? And I hate being lied to. He's not busy with family stuff. He's off chasing another girl! Which, okay. I don't have dibs or anything, but he could at least be up front about it, you know?
"But Cathryn, that's not how these guys operate. It's all a big web of lies, misleading statements, and avoidance of the problem."
Well self, he just needs to get over that shit, cause I'm an adult and I want an adult partner, dammit!
So he told me he'd call when he was free, and I took him at his word. It's been a month now, and I haven't heard anything. He's been making all sorts of plans on Facebook, and there's a party at his place or one of his sisters' places every other week, it seems like. I guess it's not that big of a deal for him. He can always find another phone girl.
I'm really proud of myself for not cracking and contacting him. To be honest, I haven't thought of him too much this past month. I mean, yeah, I'm writing about it, but I haven't been sitting by my phone, waiting for him to text me. I've been out interviewing, working, GETTING A BIG GIRL JOB, and having fun with my brother Roosevelt and his BFF Darion, who is like another little brother for me. I usually break first and try again to make plans when someone blows me off, but not this time! Now that I have other things to worry about, this doesn't seem like a big deal anymore. So he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, who cares? I'm probably better off without him, and I'll find someone more my speed. Parties aren't really my scene anyway, and that's all the Marine seems to want to do.
On another note, my friend of 21 years is in Massachusetts for the summer for an internship. So proud of her, but missing the things we usually do in the summer, like get lunch and watch movies at the theater, our annual Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter marathons, and picking a show to watch together. That and drinking and playing Domino Train and Jenga and King's Cup and Smart Ass and Scattergories. My brother Dylan is also on an internship in a small town 6 hours away from home. Proud of him as well, but the same things also apply, since he's usually with us when we partake in the aforementioned activities. My friend pool went from 8 to maybe 3 to 5, depending on what day it is and who's working, so it's a big change.
Welp, I've got an absolute bitch of a headache, so I'm going to bed. I'll be on later, and sooner than the last time. It's been a busy year, friends.
Night all!
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