Because I've tried to contact you for weeks now, sugar. I don't know if you're avoiding me or if I'm not a priority or if I'm reading too much into it, but I can't find out if YOU WON'T TALK TO ME.
Jesus, all I want is to talk to you about what's going on between us. If it's nothing that's fine. Just tell me. If it's something, then we need to discuss it so I can figure out exactly what it is. You can't hide behind this forever, because I'm going to go crazy and ruin our friendship, and I don't want to do that.
At the very least, I want to see you sometime soon. Seeing you once a month is problematic for me. I don't function that way. I need regular contact with my friends or I forget how important the relationship is to me. There are a few exceptions, of course. My friends in Iowa will always be my friends, no matter how much distance is between us or how infrequently we talk. I know they're always there for me, just like I'm there for them.
But our friendship is relatively new, and I need to build some roots to sustain it for when we don't talk. We used to talk all the fucking time, but something changed and I can't figure it out.
Also your best friend has suddenly shown interest in what's going on between us, and I can't tell if that's because I've made it okay to talk about you with him or if he's got a secret agenda, but he seems to think that the way you're behaving is normal. Well, that won't fly with me, sugar. I don't like what's happening right now, and I need it to change.
It's just one fucking day that you have to set aside for my birthday dinner. You can't even set that day aside for me? You have to keep your entire week open just in case you get asked to drive to Louisiana again? That's bullshit, in my opinion. I get that you don't want to go to my work Christmas party because that's a little more date-like, but my birthday dinner is literally my family, your best friend and his parents, me, and you. That's not date-like in any way, shape or form.
I'm so confused, and so angry, and so discouraged. I want to know what happened to make you this way and leave us in this situation. I've just about reached the end of my rope, and once I let go that's it. I hope you're prepared to deal with the consequences.
Goodnight, y'all.
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