Feelings Are Stupid

I feel irrationally bad because I tried to make the Marine feel better about the size of his penis and I apparently didn't do it right because now he's not talking to me.

First, he brought it up out of NOWHERE. He asked me what the average size of a penis was, and I told him. Unsolicited, he told me he was bigger than that. I said good for you, essentially, and changed the subject because I was getting uncomfortable.

HOURS later we're in the middle of a conversation about football, and he tells me he almost sent me the picture he took of his erect penis next to a measuring tape. Like, what the hell? We weren't even talking about it. So then he described and sent the picture to me even though I didn't show an interest in seeing it. And he's well endowed, okay? It's all very exciting...for him.

I'm not sure what he wanted out of me. I told him size didn't matter, because to me it doesn't. I said any woman that wasn't shallow would like him for more than the size of his dick. I also know he's had a very active and satisfying sex life, so he clearly doesn't need the assurance that he's good in bed, especially from someone he's never fucked. I even told him that his dick looked fine, because it did. I didn't tell him it was the prettiest penis I'd ever seen or anything like that, but I assured him that he didn't have anything to worry about. And then he quit talking to me.

We've been down this road before. I was confused, and he told me he didn't like me. He just wanted to be friends, and that's what I've worked on. I thought I was doing a good job, too. I've met his brother, invited him out a few times, and we've had good laughs together. We're friends. I did what he asked me to and am trying to move on and not attach too much meaning to what he says and the things he does. And he isn't interested in me as a booty call, because he's told me so. So why did he bring up his dick yet again?

Maybe he's trying to test me to see if anyone else will hear about it. I've learned my lesson though, and will keep my mouth shut.

UGH. I'm so confused, and a little tired of it all. What did he want from me? To offer him some fellatio right then and there? Sorry, I'm not that kind of girl. And he knows it too, so...

If you want me, you just need to say it. If you don't want me, you need to quit sending me pictures of your dick. If you're not going to fuck me with it, why does it matter to you what I think about it? I don't want you to tell me about all the girls trying to get your attention. You don't need to brag, because there's nothing to gain from me. If you wanted jealousy, you should have said that you were interested in me, THEN told me about the girls. You say you're a man of action, but so far all I see is mixed signals. If you want something from me, you first have to DO SOMETHING. Sending pictures, in this day and age, is practically nothing. Kiss me, throw me up against a wall, take me out on a date. Those are indicators of interest, not dick pics.

There is a possibility that he's only sending these pictures because he wants reassurance. My brothers say that he just wants someone to appreciate his assets. And I could see how that could be important, but you can see how confusing it is from my point, right? I just don't know what he wants from me. I told him I wanted it in my mouth the first time and he shot me down. I tried to be supportive and I pissed him off. Apart from ignoring him, I can't really see another way to react.

I thought writing it all out would help, but it's only made it worse. I'm going to bed. Thanks for reading though. You all really make my day.

Goodnight.