I haven't updated in, like, forever.
I've been in this black pit of despair because I cannot find a job and school started today for everyone down here in my hometown. It's the first time I've not been in school when school starts, and I'm going a little batshit, to be honest. How did this happen? When did I become an adult with adult responsibilities and shit? Super lame.
Anyway, that's been on my mind all day. I went to lunch with my brothers and one of my good friends, and on the way there I realized that I've grown up. Years ago, my brother Dylan got me into watching award shows. We'd watch them and then talk about them for DAYS after. Literally. But we didn't watch the VMAs last night. In fact, we all played Clue for two hours and went to bed before midnight. So when we woke up this morning and got online to do our normal morning things (I check my email, Facebook, and Tumblr, while Dylan reads the news) we noticed some talk about what happened at the award show last night.
I mean, really? When did this society devolve into oversized children too caught up in the spectacle before them to realize that people have feelings and that they should cary themselves better when being filmed and watched by millions who idolize them. I know it has to be hard for the "elite" few, who have had their lives ripped open and examined from every angle. They've been speculated about, mocked mercilessly, and sometimes socially crucified because they refuse to give everything of themselves to us, greedy as we are. So I get it. It's not something that one ever gets used to, I imagine. But having said that, there has to be some responsibility on their part. They realize they're idolized by the younger generations who have made them successful. That idolization comes with a hefty responsibility. So please, have some respect for yourself and for those around you. Please refrain from booing people and the success they've worked hard for just because you don't like them. Please don't disrespect the people in the same boat as you. You know how it feels to be in their shoes. And PLEASE respect yourself enough to know that there is a difference between expressing your independence and degrading yourself to prove that you can do what you want.
Anyway...
That was also on my mind.
So the more important news in that the Marine and I finally hung out! Without everyone else too! I mean, he brought his younger brother with him, so we weren't alone. But still.
Also, he is super protective of his younger brother, I think because he is so much older than him. I was told that the best way to impress the Marine is to get in good with his brother. So I was naturally FREAKING OUT when he told me he was bringing his brother to come hang out. It felt like a really big test, and I didn't want to fail it miserably.
My brother Roosevelt (Roo) told me that I couldn't make a big deal out of it. Friends first, especially since the last time I tried anything he shut me down and then we didn't talk for most of the summer. So instead of getting all snazzy and dolling myself up, I kept it simple. Didn't put on excessive make-up, and just braided my hair to keep it out of my face.
When they got to my house, we settled in and started to watch movies. The younger brother was a little hesitant to relax, given that I was a total stranger. I was also at a loss. I wanted to make a good impression, but didn't know how to. We loosened up, and eventually I forgot I was supposed to try to impress them and started to have fun.
You all know how much I like the Marine. He's a great guy, and I really want him to stay in my life. But his little brother is probably cooler than him. I forgot what it was like to talk to someone in Elementary school, and he was SO CUTE HOLY CRAP. I loved him. Apparently he liked me too, because all of a sudden he wanted me to meet his cousins and his sister and I had to go to this place with them or go do that thing sometime because he thought I'd like it. The feeling I got when he'd turn to the Marine and suggest that we all do something or I meet some family member is pretty indescribable.
After they left I felt awesome. We finally got past all the crap from the beginning of the summer, and I made a new friend. Granted, he's in 5th grade, but he's still a seriously cool kid. I can't wait for us to hang out again.
I haven't told any of my friends that we all hung out. I don't think they need to know, and the less involved they are with my relationship with the Marine, the better off I'll be.
Well, I'm fucking tired. I'm going to go to bed, lovelies.
Goodnight!
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