Back from the wedding, and ready for a friend from Pennsylvania to visit tomorrow! She's flying in at 11:50 pm. As in 10 minutes before midnight. Yikes! I'm going to bed early so I can stay up for that, but first...
The wedding was absolutely beautiful. The bride was gorgeous, the groom was handsome and so grown up, and the reception was bitchin'. We danced the night away, and got up early to trek back to Texas. Watching my cousin get married brought me to tears. When they got engaged I knew they were going to get married eventually, but in the back of my mind I kept picturing my cousin as a little boy, and never faced reality, you know? The second he stepped out and turned to face us, waiting for his bride, reality hit me and I started bawling. It didn't stop until the ceremony was over, and it started up a few times during the reception. This is my baby cousin! And now he's all grown up, married, ready to start a family. I couldn't be more proud of him.
I caught the bouquet when the bride threw it. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm next. If that's true, then the next wedding is a ways off. I don't even have a potential boyfriend yet, let alone a serious prospect for marriage. I'm not even sure I have time for that right now, with my new job and my church responsibilities. I'm still trying to juggle all this stuff, and I can't add anything else to the pile.
I have all these thoughts in my head, and it's like I can't get them all down in a coherent manner. When I was in Iowa I got to visit two of my best friends. We watched a movie, then spent the next day in Des Moines, visiting all the old haunts. It was wonderful to see them again. I heard that the fourth member of our best friends quartet has gone off the reservation a bit, turned against one of our group, and is trying to get the rest of us to turn against her as well. That's really sad for me, because it's clear who's going to be forced out, eventually. Our fourth member is upsetting the group in a major way, and if she doesn't stop I can see the two in Iowa shutting her out. I'm still going to try to be friends with her, but it's sad that the friendship dynamic we had in college won't survive.
Speaking of nostalgia, I discovered that I'm happy living in Texas as opposed to Iowa. At first, my heart felt like it was split between two states. After visiting again, however, I found myself missing Texas more with every passing day. I'll always cherish my college memories, but I'm not the person I was in college. I can't go back and fit into that dynamic anymore. I've outgrown it, and I'll always love Iowa and the experiences I've had in it, but that's not where my home is now. This trip really helped me settle down in Texas. There's more to do here, and all my family is here, and I want to raise my children here. Iowa will always be a fun place to visit, but it's no longer home.
And I think that's all for me, folks. It's been an emotional week. I've cried a lot, reminisced, and faced reality. All this without any extra sleep, too. My body needs to recharge, I think. So I'm off to bed early.
Goodnight!
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