Blogging on a Monday Night...

Is actually something I find enjoyable. I'm also not doing anything else. I'm actually bored out of my mind. Hopefully I'll be hanging out with someone in a bit, but that still might fall through.

Hold on...

I had to change my music. I can't listen to new music when I blog, because I get distracted. Anyway, I'm doing absolutely nothing with all my free time. I sit around all day and watch movies, or read, or play video games. It's quite sad, actually. I hate being so inactive.

And I'm definitely still fixating on my lack of a boyfriend. It's manifesting itself in weird ways. For example, I had a dream last night about going to a concert and being picked up by a member of the band I was watching. I refrain from telling you which band because I actually have dignity, and I don't want to give it up just yet. But the point is I really want a boyfriend. Or someone to fool around with. Nah...a boyfriend.

And it suuuuuuuuuuucks. I don't want to think about it anymore.

On another note, I found out someone I've been friends with forever has a crush on me. It was dropped on me quite unexpectedly, and I'm glad I was already on my way to getting drunk. I'd've definitely needed a drink if I hadn't already ordered one. So now I'm avoiding that friend, and feeling kinda bad about it. Is this what all my other friends felt like when they found out I liked them? I totally see where they were coming from now. I just want to call all of them and apologize for how I made them feel.

So I'll try to be better about that in the future. And also I'll try to keep my friend from pursuing those feelings for me. I've been avoiding placing a gender on this friend, but who am I kidding? It's a girl. It's always going to be a girl. I'm just more appealing to them, for some reason. And it's not that I'm straight. I prefer to think of myself as open, because I'm attracted to boys and girls. Of course, I like boys a lot more, but it's whatever. If it's right, it's right.

But I don't want to make her feel weird, just make it clear that I'm not interested. I'll try to think of a way to do that, but I'm not going to sit down with her and tell her. That would be really awkward. Only if she pushes it. Then I'll face it. I'm crossing my fingers for that to not happen, however. If I never have a conversation with her about it, I'll be happy.

Anyway, that's enough for one blog post.

Kisses.